0.o
Well, I caved, I made another online journal thingy even though I swore I'd never do another one! But when you get as bored as I do (and as quickly) you tend to find anything of interest to occupy your time (like a piece of shiny tin foil for example).
I'm in the process of rearranging my room, and I called it quits for now because I'm really tired and quite frankly, I don't want to do anymore. lol! So I'll do some more tomorrow.
I'm still bored, and really am thinking about going to bed because I'm kinda sad right now. I've been just thinking about previous events and conversations. Like I'm infront of a TV and watching a tape of my life. Every section is a new tape, and the tapes are located in this huge room. It's about 25% full of tapes, and the sections are labeled accordingly. But as I pass through certian events (Birthdays, friends, vacations, etc...) I notice that some tapes are not there. And it puzzles me to why their not there. And in the background I can hear voices (not the kind your thinking of!). It's like conversations that are randomly being replayed. And I walk into this other smaller room (because I'm curious to were those voices are coming from), there's a TV and a VCR. And I sit in front of the chair and just watch the images fly by and heart breaks. All the events of my life laid out before me. Unfortuantly, the times a person tends to enjoy s the most (childhood) isn't a place of warm and fuzzy memories. There's fighting, moving, tramatic events and heart achs. The gaps in the tapes cover years. And those valuble memories are gone. Maybe one day their magically reappear. Maybe they're there and my mind just doesn't think I'm ready to know what happened during those times. Whatever the case, it still makes me wonder and kind of curious to what happened in those times.
I've heard that some people don't remember their childhood. But good or bad, I still want to remember. I think that's one of my greastest fears. Waking up one day to realize that you enitre childhood has been erased. Think of all the lessons you learned as a child and how they've molded you into a person. Now imagine all those memories gone. All the bad times and good times gone. It's something I never would want to happen. I mean there's a lot of bad things that happened to me, but I wouldn't want the memories to be gone. I just don't want them to bother my present & future. They haven't bothered me much, and as long as it stays that way, I'm fine with the memories being around.
I'm in the process of rearranging my room, and I called it quits for now because I'm really tired and quite frankly, I don't want to do anymore. lol! So I'll do some more tomorrow.
I'm still bored, and really am thinking about going to bed because I'm kinda sad right now. I've been just thinking about previous events and conversations. Like I'm infront of a TV and watching a tape of my life. Every section is a new tape, and the tapes are located in this huge room. It's about 25% full of tapes, and the sections are labeled accordingly. But as I pass through certian events (Birthdays, friends, vacations, etc...) I notice that some tapes are not there. And it puzzles me to why their not there. And in the background I can hear voices (not the kind your thinking of!). It's like conversations that are randomly being replayed. And I walk into this other smaller room (because I'm curious to were those voices are coming from), there's a TV and a VCR. And I sit in front of the chair and just watch the images fly by and heart breaks. All the events of my life laid out before me. Unfortuantly, the times a person tends to enjoy s the most (childhood) isn't a place of warm and fuzzy memories. There's fighting, moving, tramatic events and heart achs. The gaps in the tapes cover years. And those valuble memories are gone. Maybe one day their magically reappear. Maybe they're there and my mind just doesn't think I'm ready to know what happened during those times. Whatever the case, it still makes me wonder and kind of curious to what happened in those times.
I've heard that some people don't remember their childhood. But good or bad, I still want to remember. I think that's one of my greastest fears. Waking up one day to realize that you enitre childhood has been erased. Think of all the lessons you learned as a child and how they've molded you into a person. Now imagine all those memories gone. All the bad times and good times gone. It's something I never would want to happen. I mean there's a lot of bad things that happened to me, but I wouldn't want the memories to be gone. I just don't want them to bother my present & future. They haven't bothered me much, and as long as it stays that way, I'm fine with the memories being around.
posted by Theresa at 11:05:00 PM
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